Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Our History

Our family is a very unique combination of personalities that has been beatifully melded together by trial, error, and love!

My name is James, and I have the privilege of being the husband to Jill, and Dad to the children. Jill and I were married nearly five years ago, and collectively we had three children by prior marriage(s). She had Andrew (14), and Hannah (11), and I had Maddie (8). When our families merged, the children were much younger, which is a distinct advantage to making blended families cohesive.

We welcomed the birth of our new son, Nathanael back in 2007. So our home has four uniquely independent individuals who often (substitute: occassionally - infrequently - rarely - never!) function together to create a dynamic family atmosphere.

Andrew is an incredibly kind-hearted young man who is well-liked by all. He can fit in with nearly everyone, and has a 'pleaser' mentality. Because he's not known to 'rock the boat,' his struggle is being influenced negatively by those who do not share his core beliefs.

Hannah is a very tender soul who has great compassion for others. Although she's only eleven, she's quite the dramatic actress! She has the gift of leadership, and accordingly her struggle is to use that gift to influence in a positive way.

Maddie is a wonderfully clever and witty little spit-fire who is creative and committed to hard work. She understands sarcastic humor (which I find hilarious), however she has such a knack for it that she's learned to dish it as well (many of her school mates are not amused by this)! Her struggle is with control, and understanding your best effort is better than perfection.

Nate is nearly a year and a half old now. He's a cuddle-bug that we all love dearly. He's not crawling yet (sooo close), but we're fine with it. He's got trisomy-21 (a/k/a Down syndrome), so his biggest struggle will be being accepted for who he is (without apology, entitlement, or excuse) and knowing God made him EXACTLY the way he is.

We are a Christian family, and although I am not going to use this forum to preach, it is important to note; as our core beliefs, principles, and methods reflect the Biblical model for families.

We are like many young families today, running to and fro with too many commitments and not enough time. We function as a family unit daily, yet not every part of our family is always present. Meaning, every other weekend the three older children are gone, so it's Dad, Mom & Nate. Regardless of who's home or who's gone, we are working to instill a sense of stability (a real challenge for blended families) and consitency so our children know that whenever they walk through the front door they are welcomed with unconditional love and affection.

I'll save some of the logistics of how we do what we do for another time. Trust me, it's a work in progress. By no means am I here to suggest that we have all (or even any) of the answers. My hope is that this forum will shed some light to those who know blended families, and offer hope and encouragement to families like ours that are fused!

4 comments:

  1. We love the Kocian family!!! Glad you guys came around. Our lives are better because you are in it.

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  2. Okay, I finally figured out how to post on your blog! Hurray! Thanks for sending the link. Looking forward to keeping up with our favorite "fused" family!

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  3. I look forward to reading these blog posts! What a creative title! We are blessed to know you!

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  4. Hmmm.. I just discovered another James Kocian blog! Very cool! Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to post a comment without showing up as kmarks!! Booyah!

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